Resolution

Recently, my roommate's friend came to visit her for a week over spring break. And it was really fun, because showing her around we got to do all the cool things in Munich that we don't usually make the effort to do.

It's funny how once you feel like you live somewhere the amount of sightseeing and exploring you do goes down so dramatically.

But I also know that my time in europe is most likely limited, so I have made a new goal to do one cool thing in Munich a week--I've made a huge list of all the cool things in munich and the close surrounds that I want to do and posted it on my wall.

The goal is one a week, but I am also cutting myself some slack and saying once every two weeks is also okay.

Will try to post the results of my adventures here :)

Indecision 2009

I feel like (at least American) society puts an enormous pressure on us all to decide what we want "to be".

I mean even as kids we are constantly being asked about what we want to be when we grow up. To me, as kids, that's the last thing we should be thinking about.

For the longest time I wanted to be a vet (yeah I know, me and every other little girl in the world, how original I am), since I've always loved animals. But then I discovered that I hate blood as well as chemistry and physics.

To be honest that has been the most constant career idea that i've had to date. After that burst bubble, I have also thought about being a marine biologist, a teacher, a translator, a doctor, a firefighter, a park ranger (okay this one only jokingly)...but nothing has seemed to stick.

In highschool I didn't have a satisfactory answer and in college I still didn't have one (it is some sort of miracle I ended up being able to choose a major). My problem is I'm scared there isn't something I want to or will be happy doing forever---by choosing one thing I am also scared of all the doors that are closing because of it.

As of now, it seems more likely that I will get my PhD in Psychology and then try to do research and teach at a university or something of that sort.

I've been stressing out though, because I keep feeling like I'm running out of time. I feel this pressure to get on the career track and stop fussing around. Also the fact that I've chosen something that will take at minimum 3 years of schooling makes me nervous that I'll be 35 and still in grad school.

Part of me is impatient just to know and stop worrying about it. But the other larger part of me is just worrying.

I am stressing because I need more research experience but just realized how difficult it is to get a paid positions and lack the funds to volunteer full time (which is the type of position I would prefer).

I am also unsure about where I want to attend grad school (the u.s. or europe) and am worrying about application deadlines and how to find information about schools and just basically spazzing out.

But I am trying to follow Bridget's useful advice of just working on getting a research position and applying to grad school later if necessary.

Yet my eye keeps twitching...*sigh*...

Spaghetti with Cheese on Top

Last Friday I was watching a movie with the kids at work about the ocean and the animals that inhabit it. In once scene, it talks about killer whales and shows them throwing around cute furry litle seals and eating them.

This caused one little 7 year old girl to ask:

"Why do the whales have to be so mean to the poor seals? Why can't they just eat spaghetti with cheese on top??"

"Well how would a killer whale get spaghetti with cheese on top?" I responded.

"Hmmmm. That's a good question..." she answered.

Moments like this are what I enjoy best about working with kids :)

Spring!

Finally. The interminable winter in Munich is starting to recede. Being from California, I never understood why people here got so excited about summer. Because to be honest I think in the Bay Area you get sunny days all over the place, not just exclusively in the summer.

Not so in Munich.

Actually the whole city goes into some sort of depressing hibernation, with the worst months being January and February.

It started getting cold in September but there was still a lot going on. First Oktoberfest. Then the Christmasmarkets and Tollwood (winter festival that has a berkeley feel to it actually).

So until then it's a bit cold, but everyone is still lively. But then the dreaded months hit.

Absolutely NOTHING happens in January or February. No bier fests no nothing. Nobody seems to leave the home. Especially since it gets a hell of a lot colder.

I thought December was cold but was also cocky enough to think I had mastered it. And then I came back from a week and home. And nearly died. I thought I was having problems adjusting but it was actually that while I had been dealing with 0 to 4 degree weather (32 to 39 degrees Fahrenheit).

But then I realized it was -8 degrees Celsius (approx 17 Fahrenheit)!!! Before experiencing it's a type of cold I couldn't imagine. No amount of tshirts, sweaters, scarves, hats, gloves, jackets, seems to make you any warmer.

Without any sort of major events and the biting cold the whole city pretty much shuts down. Munich is a large city for Germany, but to be honest its more of a large town and it's charm sort of lies in its many outdoor activities and events. Without them it's depressing as hell and these past few months have really draaaagggged.

But now the sun has finally made a reapprance and the first of the bierfests--starkbierfest---has begun. So now I totally understand everyone's fascination with summer and am basking in the 12 degree weather while eagerly awaiting the reopening of beer gardens and the increase of all the volksfests and such.

Nanny Diaries: The Ugly Truth

So from mid October to the begginning of February I worked as a nanny in Munich.

If you go and talk to English-speaking girls in their late teens/early twenties, you would find that about 95% of them are nannies or au pairs.

Why? Because it's the easiest way to get a visa to stay in germany and one of the easiest jobs to come by as an english speakers.

But to be honest, about 90-95% of these girls hate their jobs, or at least put up with things they shouldn't.

I'm not quite sure if this problem is particular to Germany or not, since I've only heard of good nanny experiences in the u.s. There is a chance that part of the problem that occurs in Germany may not occur in the U.S., since Germany is a much more class-oriented society, something that became evident to me because of their highly-tracked schooling system.

The stereotypical family is a such:

Kids: varies between absolute dolls and spoiled demon children

Dad: rarely present

Mom: almost always a complete and utter psycho. Typically unstable, tyrannical,demanding, and snobbish.

I think a major problem that most people don't realize is how much your experience as a nanny depends on how the mother treats you. She has all the control, because she is a boss without anyone to be responsible to. For example, if you worked for a normal company, there is usually someone who keeps them in line ie. stops them from being a lieing psycho.

Not true in the nanny business. And most often nannies are too scared to complain.

This results often in many annoying things.

First off, often times more duties or hours are added to the jobs then are originally agreed upon. Examples include aupairs having to be defacto working whenever they are in the house, last minute requests for babysitting, or adding on of cleaning/house maid duties such as cleaning the childrens shoes by hand, changing the bed sheets, etc.


Also, the smallest things will cause an uproar. I have heard many many stories of moms screaming at their nannies or aupairs for things tiny tiny things...and this could never happen in a normal job situation. What's worse is not only do they want you do to do all the millions things they tell you but they also want you to anticipate all the things they don't tell you. Leading to a catch 22 situation where if you don't anticipate you are fucked, but also if you anticipate incorrectly you are also fucked.

Plus a lot of mom's think they can treat you like dirt. They think they are better and smarter than you, although oftentimes they are so used to be waited on hand and foot their whole lives that they wouldn't know how to run their own households if they tried.

To be fair, I have also heard a few horror stories about terrible aupairs and such, but for the most part it goes the other way I think.

In my case, I liked the kids a lot but wasn't happy with my employer and how she treated me---nor could I really take the stress of having to do everything exactly perfect.

Being a nanny can be a great job(espcially since the pay and the hours are usually good) but I think you really need to find the right family, otherwise you might end up in a hellish situation. As for me, I am now working as a ticketsellers for a tour company and working in an afterschool program and loving it!

Whoops

Wow. Okay my last post on here was the end of November. So I officially fail at this whole bloogging thing. To be honest I get too busy and absorbed in other things and then just plain lazy. But I am going to give it a shot again. We'll see how that goes I suppose...it was supposed to be my new years resolution or something. Missed the gun on that one as well hahah.

Going to try to update at least once a week now...