Whirlpool

Woah. Traveling for 3 weeks (aside of the killer cold that kept me in bed for a few days half way through) was great, but now I am back to reality--- and it is harsh.

With my flight even now not locked in, time is taking on strange qualities for me. Even though I will mostly have about a month left, it feels like I have about 72 hours. Also time is weird in that even though I seem to be slaving away for hours, absolutely nothing happens, aside of the fact that i run out of time. I clean my room, throw out a bag of things I hope I won't need, and suddenly its four hours later and when i turn my head the room is in same mess it was before.

I have so so many things to sort out before I leave, especially since I am leaving the land of beauracracy. A hostile rooming situation has also led to me probably leaving a week earlier than before.

But at the same time I am overjoyed. To be honest, I definitely feel that the German chapter of my life is coming to a necessary close. Although I am sad in that it feels like Europe is my young adventerous life and that that part is coming to an end, I am also stoked to get on with a new adventure and chapter in my life, even if it means I have to spend some hard time living with my mom and sleeping on the couch.

I am currently trying to continue my training in seperating my attachment from physical objects. I never want to throw anything away. But the when I do I almost never miss it. Yet I'm having the common problem where you always remember that one time you threw away you know that crazy popsicle stick holder you thought you'd never need and then you were kicking yourself about it a week later when for once in your life you really DID need it.

Well, at least I probably don't need those shoes with the gaping holes in them...but maybe...